Advice Request from Client:
I’m in my second year of university, and I honestly feel like I don’t belong here. Everyone around me seems to have it all figured out — their career path, internships, social lives — and I’m barely keeping up. I struggle to focus, my grades are slipping, and I constantly feel overwhelmed and behind. I’m not lazy, but I just don’t feel sharp enough. Some days I seriously wonder if I made a mistake coming here. I want to succeed, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up while everyone else is cruising ahead. How do I stop comparing myself and start believing I belong here?
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Advice from our Doctor of Psychology:
Your feelings are deeply valid, and they echo a truth that many students quietly carry but rarely speak: the experience of feeling “not enough” in a culture that rewards constant achievement. What you’re going through isn’t a personal failing — it’s the psychological weight of a system that often prioritizes output over wellbeing, competition over community, and image over honesty.
Let’s dismantle the myth you’ve internalized — that everyone else is cruising. I promise you, beneath the polished social media posts and confident class discussions, many of your peers are struggling too. Some hide it better, or overcompensate by appearing ultra-prepared, but self-doubt and exhaustion are more common than you think. You are not alone in this feeling.
What’s crucial is to separate ability from anxiety. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re incapable — it means you’re human and under pressure. You may be dealing with unspoken stressors: cognitive overload, emotional fatigue, or perhaps undiagnosed learning challenges or mental health issues that deserve attention, not shame. A consultation with a campus mental health professional could help you determine whether additional support — like accommodations or therapy — could ease the burden.
As for the comparisons: remember, we tend to compare our messy reality to someone else’s highlight reel. That’s not fair to you. Instead of asking, “Why am I not like them?” ask, “What does my version of success look like — one that includes both achievement and wellness?”
Reclaiming your sense of belonging begins with treating yourself not as a failing student, but as a whole person. What are your values? Your interests? What energizes you when the pressure isn’t crushing you? Build small routines around those things, even if they don’t seem academic. That spark is the foundation for confidence that doesn’t rely on comparison.
You do belong. Not because you’re perfect — but because you’re trying. And that’s always enough to start.
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